Some days I wonder if I'm cut out for this mommy stuff. I love my kids, the thought of leaving them in someone else's care while I go off to work is stifling to me, but some days I want nothing more than to leave them in someone else's care while I join the "real world". I'm not sure how to overcome the disconnect, but it's there. Why is it that the people we love the most are the ones that drive us the most crazy? Which piece of my heart is so connected to my mind that when I lost that bit of heart to each child, I lost a bit of my mind too?
I'm told that 3-year-olds turn into 4-year-olds, then 5-year-olds, then teenagers, then produce grandchildren, but for now the 3-year-old is giving me way too many gray hairs for my age.
And Beth just woke up needing to eat. Sigh.
Goodnight.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Speaking ...
On Saturday, Beth embarked on the journey that will lead to my eventual loss of sanity ... she started speaking. While I'm more than thrilled with the progress (in the last week she's started waving, clapping, walking with me holding her hands, and saying "Mum-mum-mum") I also have the experience now to realize where this is all leading ... Thomas's everlasting refrain of "Why?" will soon become Beth's! One, I can handle, if barely. Two of them ... oh dear!
It's funny how differently you watch and interact with your kids - with Thomas, I watched him all the time, noting everything that changed as he grew older. Still I do the same thing - I guess because he's always entering uncharted territory for me. With Beth, we've already been there, done that, so while it's exciting, it doesn't send me straight for the phone to brag about her newest accomplishment each time she does something new. That and I know that the sitting and "walking" lead to baby gates and childproofing like mad, the talking leads to INCESSANT questions, and the clapping and waving are already being used to get attention, even when there's other things that need to be done.
Am I the only one who sometimes dreads the next developmental step? What are you NOT looking forward to your kid doing for the first time?
It's funny how differently you watch and interact with your kids - with Thomas, I watched him all the time, noting everything that changed as he grew older. Still I do the same thing - I guess because he's always entering uncharted territory for me. With Beth, we've already been there, done that, so while it's exciting, it doesn't send me straight for the phone to brag about her newest accomplishment each time she does something new. That and I know that the sitting and "walking" lead to baby gates and childproofing like mad, the talking leads to INCESSANT questions, and the clapping and waving are already being used to get attention, even when there's other things that need to be done.
Am I the only one who sometimes dreads the next developmental step? What are you NOT looking forward to your kid doing for the first time?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Hello World!
A fellow blogger asked if I have a blog and I realized I haven't posted lately, so figured if I'm going to give out my URL I'd better have something recent up! I could make all sorts of excuses, but I'll just skip them, you've heard them all before.
Thomas loves preschool, he's really looking forward to his first "Storytime" tomorrow - it's the enrichment program for the 3-year-olds at his school. He absolutely loves his teachers, loves playing, loves "Weather Bear", and is learning the days of the week based on which days he gets to go to school. I love it too; Beth and I usually get the grocery shopping done one day, we go home and work on the house the other - it's so much easier shopping with one kid rather than 2!
Everyone's been sick around here, Thomas just started feeling quite a bit better today so I'm looking for Beth to feel a lot better tomorrow (T brought it home from preschool, B got it the day after him, me the day after that, and Clay and Rob the day after that). Beth is growing and becoming much more mobile, she loves to roll all over the room especially when the obstacles are out of the way.
My brother Rob is living with us as he looks for a job and gets ready to start at OSU during winter quarter ... he's transferring there after leaving Miami University, so here's hoping OSU will be a better fit for him. I'm really glad he's decided to move on, it felt like he was just sort of stagnating at Miami. We love having him here, the kids love him and it's a lot of fun having someone else to play games with! He's a million times better about doing the dishes than I am, so while I might have thought it would take a bit *more* work to take care of the house with him here, it's actually made it easier! Yea!
I'm doing a lot better now that I'm on meds, I was diagnosed with PPD and - lo-and-behold - the world is a happy place again! We're also part of a playgroup where we've been making a lot of friends and enjoying new activities, doing lots of things we wouldn't do when it's just the kids and me. Today we went over to Homestead Park in Hilliard, it was absolutely terrific! The park is huge, we did a stroller walk then let the kids play in the different play areas while the mommies got to visit and be real people.
Ok, I should have gone to bed a long time ago, but wanted to get something up to let everyone (all 6 of you! jk) know that we're still alive!
Thomas loves preschool, he's really looking forward to his first "Storytime" tomorrow - it's the enrichment program for the 3-year-olds at his school. He absolutely loves his teachers, loves playing, loves "Weather Bear", and is learning the days of the week based on which days he gets to go to school. I love it too; Beth and I usually get the grocery shopping done one day, we go home and work on the house the other - it's so much easier shopping with one kid rather than 2!
Everyone's been sick around here, Thomas just started feeling quite a bit better today so I'm looking for Beth to feel a lot better tomorrow (T brought it home from preschool, B got it the day after him, me the day after that, and Clay and Rob the day after that). Beth is growing and becoming much more mobile, she loves to roll all over the room especially when the obstacles are out of the way.
My brother Rob is living with us as he looks for a job and gets ready to start at OSU during winter quarter ... he's transferring there after leaving Miami University, so here's hoping OSU will be a better fit for him. I'm really glad he's decided to move on, it felt like he was just sort of stagnating at Miami. We love having him here, the kids love him and it's a lot of fun having someone else to play games with! He's a million times better about doing the dishes than I am, so while I might have thought it would take a bit *more* work to take care of the house with him here, it's actually made it easier! Yea!
I'm doing a lot better now that I'm on meds, I was diagnosed with PPD and - lo-and-behold - the world is a happy place again! We're also part of a playgroup where we've been making a lot of friends and enjoying new activities, doing lots of things we wouldn't do when it's just the kids and me. Today we went over to Homestead Park in Hilliard, it was absolutely terrific! The park is huge, we did a stroller walk then let the kids play in the different play areas while the mommies got to visit and be real people.
Ok, I should have gone to bed a long time ago, but wanted to get something up to let everyone (all 6 of you! jk) know that we're still alive!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Preschool
FYI, the only time Thomas got upset was when I told him we had to go home. Apparently music class made quite the impression, it was the first thing he told me about. Now off to take care of Miss Fussy ...
Monday, September 8, 2008
First Day
Thomas had his first day of preschool today - well, it was the open house, but he got to meet all his teachers and see the rooms he'll be in, etc. We spent about an hour there and he was SO ticked when I told him we had to go home, which is a good sign I guess. I was a little worried that he would not like the one teacher but he surprised me and buddied right up to her; he even gave her a flash of sparkle with his eyes. It was so cute - I had no idea he could do it at will - but he certainly did and made her notice how nice they are, which inevitably lead to Beth's and mine, but whatever. He was pretty shy with most of the teachers but the kids played together some and I even coaxed some "Hi"s out of Thomas to his classmates. I'm pretty sure he's going to love it, and know it will be a great experience for him.
I love how much he's grown!
I love how much he's grown!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
When did I get old?
Thomas turns 3 in 4 days.
Thomas starts preschool in 5 days.
Wow.
It seems like just yesterday that I was holding my newborn son with his fuzzy hair and sweet smell; I've only just started to reconcile myself that those days are long gone - even my second is no longer a newborn, but a full-fledged infant. It's so strange, so disconcerting to realize how fast the time has passed - I want to slow down the clock, maybe turn it back a little, just to watch him grow all over again. It seems like in the course of everyday life childhood sneaked up on us, hiding under the shorter-term babyhood and toddlerhood, waiting to surprise us as soon as we turned around. I love how my boy has grown, how his eyes sparkle, his grin stretches from ear to ear, his hair grows faster than I can cut it. He says the funniest things, asks a million questions, discovers more about life each day. His joy in the smallest of everyday things brings meaning into every aspect of life. A lot of days I could go happily insane with his constant questions, but trying to imagine a day without him takes my breath away! I'd love to keep his little arms wrapped around me, his "big, sloppy, wet kisses" covering my cheeks, but he's growing up so fast that soon they'll be big arms, small pecks on the cheek, and one day he'll probably find that he's too old for giving kisses to his mother - that is, until he grows up. How can I be bursting with pride at the person he's becoming and feeling my heart break at the little boy he's leaving behind, all at the same time?
In case I'm too busy to get on here and say it in a couple days, Happy Birthday Thomas. I love you.
Thomas starts preschool in 5 days.
Wow.
It seems like just yesterday that I was holding my newborn son with his fuzzy hair and sweet smell; I've only just started to reconcile myself that those days are long gone - even my second is no longer a newborn, but a full-fledged infant. It's so strange, so disconcerting to realize how fast the time has passed - I want to slow down the clock, maybe turn it back a little, just to watch him grow all over again. It seems like in the course of everyday life childhood sneaked up on us, hiding under the shorter-term babyhood and toddlerhood, waiting to surprise us as soon as we turned around. I love how my boy has grown, how his eyes sparkle, his grin stretches from ear to ear, his hair grows faster than I can cut it. He says the funniest things, asks a million questions, discovers more about life each day. His joy in the smallest of everyday things brings meaning into every aspect of life. A lot of days I could go happily insane with his constant questions, but trying to imagine a day without him takes my breath away! I'd love to keep his little arms wrapped around me, his "big, sloppy, wet kisses" covering my cheeks, but he's growing up so fast that soon they'll be big arms, small pecks on the cheek, and one day he'll probably find that he's too old for giving kisses to his mother - that is, until he grows up. How can I be bursting with pride at the person he's becoming and feeling my heart break at the little boy he's leaving behind, all at the same time?
In case I'm too busy to get on here and say it in a couple days, Happy Birthday Thomas. I love you.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I'm Back!
It's been a while, but I think I'm returning to the blogosphere. We just returned from a trip out to visit family in St. Louis, but have yet to get back into the swing of things. Thomas woke up and promptly threw up the entire contents of his stomach - thankfully, that consisted only of water! He wants something to eat now, but I'm putting him off for a while, then we'll see what happens. He's otherwise doing great, is now fully potty trained, and looking forward to starting school next week. He'll have preschool Monday and Wednesday afternoons, though the first day is shortened. I can't believe he's old enough to start school!
Beth got her second tooth on Saturday, August 23 - the left bottom front tooth was first, right was second. She's working on some others, not sure which exactly yet but guessing the top 2. She's a lot easier with the teething than Thomas was, but doesn't take medicine NEARLY as well, so it's sort of a toss-up. Ugh.
Clay is HOPEFULLY getting results from his blood tests today, they did a whole slew of tests last week to figure out what's going on with his stomach, etc. He's had an upset belly for weeks, the doctor wants to be pretty aggressive as far as tests to figure out what's going on with him - colonoscopy, blood tests, the scope down your esophagus, etc. Yuck!
I've got an appointment with the OB/GYN this week to talk about hormones, etc. (read: possible PPD but I'm not wanting to call it that or admit that I MIGHT have something more going on than irritability) so Mom will be down to watch the kids for my appt. and the Parent Orientation for Thomas's preschool on Thursday, plus maybe for Clay's scope(s) if we can get them scheduled conveniently.
My brother Rob is going to move in while he finds a place to live and gets school/work figured out, he withdrew from Miami and will be attending OSU but isn't sure which quarter he'll get to start classes. It will be a lot of fun having him here, but I've got to clean out the computer room so he'll have somewhere to crash! It's going to be a BUSY couple weeks here!
Beth got her second tooth on Saturday, August 23 - the left bottom front tooth was first, right was second. She's working on some others, not sure which exactly yet but guessing the top 2. She's a lot easier with the teething than Thomas was, but doesn't take medicine NEARLY as well, so it's sort of a toss-up. Ugh.
Clay is HOPEFULLY getting results from his blood tests today, they did a whole slew of tests last week to figure out what's going on with his stomach, etc. He's had an upset belly for weeks, the doctor wants to be pretty aggressive as far as tests to figure out what's going on with him - colonoscopy, blood tests, the scope down your esophagus, etc. Yuck!
I've got an appointment with the OB/GYN this week to talk about hormones, etc. (read: possible PPD but I'm not wanting to call it that or admit that I MIGHT have something more going on than irritability) so Mom will be down to watch the kids for my appt. and the Parent Orientation for Thomas's preschool on Thursday, plus maybe for Clay's scope(s) if we can get them scheduled conveniently.
My brother Rob is going to move in while he finds a place to live and gets school/work figured out, he withdrew from Miami and will be attending OSU but isn't sure which quarter he'll get to start classes. It will be a lot of fun having him here, but I've got to clean out the computer room so he'll have somewhere to crash! It's going to be a BUSY couple weeks here!
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