Bearless

Last night was awful, Thomas forgot Bear at preschool! He's had Bear since his first Christmas, my mom gave him to him (Bear is not an "it", definitely a "him" but it makes it confusing to write!) Bear is sadly the worse for the wear, but Thomas loves him and still sleeps with him every night (there have been maybe a half-dozen nights he's forgotten him since he started sleeping with him). I told Thomas that Bear was spending the night with Weather Bear, but it didn't seem to help. Weather Bear is this "bear" made out of wool fleece that they dress up in different clothes dependent on the weather, and is one of Thomas's favorite activities at preschool. I get an update on what he's wearing every preschool day on the way home. Well, to make a long story even longer, I was trying to get Beth back to sleep when I heard Thomas falling apart, called in the troops (Daddy) to hold Beth while I calmed Thomas down. It took nearly a half hour to get him to understand that we couldn't go get Bear, we would have to get him tomorrow (today), and get him to lay back down and stop bursting into tears every time he remembered Bear wasn't there (every other second or so). *Then* I got to go feed Beth and put her back in bed - it was a long bedtime!

A new day

Wow, I just reread that last post and I sounded pretty depressed, didn't I? Today is much better, Thomas is in the other room watching Backyardigans while Beth takes a nap. We're visiting the pumpkin patch with preschool today, Thomas has been talking about it all week - I hope it lives up to his expectations! It's also Thomas's snack day, we're taking in some goldfish-type crackers and apple juice. I might throw in some animal crackers, too, now that I think about it - not sure there are really enough cheese crackers to satisfy the masses!
I'm just kind of having a lazy day so far, I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning off the refrigerator, tops of the cabinets, and the kitchen cart - it looks a lot better in there, but it'm making it harder to motivate myself to get more done today, it looks great already! Except for the dishes, new paperwork, laundry, the bathrooms need cleaned ... neverending!

I love my kids, really I do!

Some days I wonder if I'm cut out for this mommy stuff. I love my kids, the thought of leaving them in someone else's care while I go off to work is stifling to me, but some days I want nothing more than to leave them in someone else's care while I join the "real world". I'm not sure how to overcome the disconnect, but it's there. Why is it that the people we love the most are the ones that drive us the most crazy? Which piece of my heart is so connected to my mind that when I lost that bit of heart to each child, I lost a bit of my mind too?
I'm told that 3-year-olds turn into 4-year-olds, then 5-year-olds, then teenagers, then produce grandchildren, but for now the 3-year-old is giving me way too many gray hairs for my age.
And Beth just woke up needing to eat. Sigh.
Goodnight.

Speaking ...

On Saturday, Beth embarked on the journey that will lead to my eventual loss of sanity ... she started speaking. While I'm more than thrilled with the progress (in the last week she's started waving, clapping, walking with me holding her hands, and saying "Mum-mum-mum") I also have the experience now to realize where this is all leading ... Thomas's everlasting refrain of "Why?" will soon become Beth's! One, I can handle, if barely. Two of them ... oh dear!
It's funny how differently you watch and interact with your kids - with Thomas, I watched him all the time, noting everything that changed as he grew older. Still I do the same thing - I guess because he's always entering uncharted territory for me. With Beth, we've already been there, done that, so while it's exciting, it doesn't send me straight for the phone to brag about her newest accomplishment each time she does something new. That and I know that the sitting and "walking" lead to baby gates and childproofing like mad, the talking leads to INCESSANT questions, and the clapping and waving are already being used to get attention, even when there's other things that need to be done.
Am I the only one who sometimes dreads the next developmental step? What are you NOT looking forward to your kid doing for the first time?

Hello World!

A fellow blogger asked if I have a blog and I realized I haven't posted lately, so figured if I'm going to give out my URL I'd better have something recent up! I could make all sorts of excuses, but I'll just skip them, you've heard them all before.
Thomas loves preschool, he's really looking forward to his first "Storytime" tomorrow - it's the enrichment program for the 3-year-olds at his school. He absolutely loves his teachers, loves playing, loves "Weather Bear", and is learning the days of the week based on which days he gets to go to school. I love it too; Beth and I usually get the grocery shopping done one day, we go home and work on the house the other - it's so much easier shopping with one kid rather than 2!
Everyone's been sick around here, Thomas just started feeling quite a bit better today so I'm looking for Beth to feel a lot better tomorrow (T brought it home from preschool, B got it the day after him, me the day after that, and Clay and Rob the day after that). Beth is growing and becoming much more mobile, she loves to roll all over the room especially when the obstacles are out of the way.
My brother Rob is living with us as he looks for a job and gets ready to start at OSU during winter quarter ... he's transferring there after leaving Miami University, so here's hoping OSU will be a better fit for him. I'm really glad he's decided to move on, it felt like he was just sort of stagnating at Miami. We love having him here, the kids love him and it's a lot of fun having someone else to play games with! He's a million times better about doing the dishes than I am, so while I might have thought it would take a bit *more* work to take care of the house with him here, it's actually made it easier! Yea!
I'm doing a lot better now that I'm on meds, I was diagnosed with PPD and - lo-and-behold - the world is a happy place again! We're also part of a playgroup where we've been making a lot of friends and enjoying new activities, doing lots of things we wouldn't do when it's just the kids and me. Today we went over to Homestead Park in Hilliard, it was absolutely terrific! The park is huge, we did a stroller walk then let the kids play in the different play areas while the mommies got to visit and be real people.
Ok, I should have gone to bed a long time ago, but wanted to get something up to let everyone (all 6 of you! jk) know that we're still alive!