We went to a Christmas tree farm today, actually to take pics for another family while they cut theirs down, but since we were there anyway we took advantage of the opportunity and picked ours out too. It smells so yummy! We'll decorate it tomorrow, I was planning on putting up the lights after the kids were in bed but Thomas apparently begged to help, so they're waiting till tomorrow. I love Christmas time, and I especially love the smell that sneaks through the house, reminding you of the season as you go about your day. Thinking about Christmas always makes me feel warm, even on the cold days!
Speaking of warm in the cold, I also baked some chocolate chip cookies today; however, the first ones ended up pretty crunchy. I put the dough in the fridge to chill, so I imagine the rest will turn out alright ... if not, I don't mind eating crunchy cookies! They make the best topping with hot fudge on vanilla ice cream (*stomach growls*).
I guess I don't have much to talk about right now, I'm feeling really sleepy for some reason so I think I'll just skip the goofing off or reading tonight and go straight to bed!
Oh yeah, and Beth now officially has 4 teeth and crawls, and is in love with our dog (the feeling is mutual - Dandy welcomed her into her crate this morning, cuddled right up to her!) Thomas loves doing workbooks, a friend gave us one and we've been doing a little every day the last few days - he keeps begging for more. I just wish he would focus that much on the OTHER things he's supposed to be doing (like picking up toys, getting dressed, etc.) Sigh.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Waking Up
Wow! I feel like I've been gone so long that I should reintroduce myself ... in more ways than one! I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner, Beth has been around for 9 1/2 months, Thomas is in preschool ...
You know how they do those little questionnaires at your 6-week appointment after your baby is born to make sure you're not going crazy? Well, that wasn't a problem ... but soon after my appointment, we moved and a million other things were going on, and I started falling apart. I should have gotten help sooner, but thought I was getting better, yadda yadda yadda. I made an appointment to see my old OB/GYN from here back in August, but couldn't get in till September, which I did. She put me on meds, they sucked and didn't work out, ugh. So, last week I went to a FP and she was terrific (in spite of my laundry list of stuff to ask about). I'm now on Celexa for post-partum depression and I feel like I'm all of a sudden waking up to the world (hence the title of the post). I've felt like the real me had been shoved out and just watching this crazy mean person run (ruin?) my life, and my family's life. It's been so frustrating, it feels like you're in this big hole and trying to climb out but someone keeps dumping more dirt on you, you can't get out, and it's heavy! When I explained that last bit to Clay, he said "Yeah, you don't have to tell me, I've had to deal with it for years, but you do explain the feeling a lot better than me!" True enough, it gives me a new perspective on how he has to wrestle his emotions and reactions ALL the time, not just for a horrible several months.
But now I really am getting better, I can tell on so many levels! I've *missed* Thomas when he's gone, he has a new sparkle that we haven't seen regularly in WAY too long, and I'm generally happier and easier to be around. Yea! Now I just have to get the house and the family back on track (not in that order!) There's lots of stuff I want to do with the house, but I've been so out of sorts that I haven't managed to get off the couch long enough to accomplish something real in ... um, let's just say a long time. I have tons of sewing and mending to catch up on, too! As far as the kids are concerned, I can play (for short periods of time, this is medicine, not a miracle!) and I'm looking forward to starting to work with Thomas in workbooks and fun activities as we settle into a manageable and balanced schedule. Beth gets to play too, but really a baby can't do much with crafts other than chewing on the pieces!
Expect to see more of me on here in the future, but I'll be spending less time on the computer overall - I have a life to get back to!
You know how they do those little questionnaires at your 6-week appointment after your baby is born to make sure you're not going crazy? Well, that wasn't a problem ... but soon after my appointment, we moved and a million other things were going on, and I started falling apart. I should have gotten help sooner, but thought I was getting better, yadda yadda yadda. I made an appointment to see my old OB/GYN from here back in August, but couldn't get in till September, which I did. She put me on meds, they sucked and didn't work out, ugh. So, last week I went to a FP and she was terrific (in spite of my laundry list of stuff to ask about). I'm now on Celexa for post-partum depression and I feel like I'm all of a sudden waking up to the world (hence the title of the post). I've felt like the real me had been shoved out and just watching this crazy mean person run (ruin?) my life, and my family's life. It's been so frustrating, it feels like you're in this big hole and trying to climb out but someone keeps dumping more dirt on you, you can't get out, and it's heavy! When I explained that last bit to Clay, he said "Yeah, you don't have to tell me, I've had to deal with it for years, but you do explain the feeling a lot better than me!" True enough, it gives me a new perspective on how he has to wrestle his emotions and reactions ALL the time, not just for a horrible several months.
But now I really am getting better, I can tell on so many levels! I've *missed* Thomas when he's gone, he has a new sparkle that we haven't seen regularly in WAY too long, and I'm generally happier and easier to be around. Yea! Now I just have to get the house and the family back on track (not in that order!) There's lots of stuff I want to do with the house, but I've been so out of sorts that I haven't managed to get off the couch long enough to accomplish something real in ... um, let's just say a long time. I have tons of sewing and mending to catch up on, too! As far as the kids are concerned, I can play (for short periods of time, this is medicine, not a miracle!) and I'm looking forward to starting to work with Thomas in workbooks and fun activities as we settle into a manageable and balanced schedule. Beth gets to play too, but really a baby can't do much with crafts other than chewing on the pieces!
Expect to see more of me on here in the future, but I'll be spending less time on the computer overall - I have a life to get back to!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Bearless
Last night was awful, Thomas forgot Bear at preschool! He's had Bear since his first Christmas, my mom gave him to him (Bear is not an "it", definitely a "him" but it makes it confusing to write!) Bear is sadly the worse for the wear, but Thomas loves him and still sleeps with him every night (there have been maybe a half-dozen nights he's forgotten him since he started sleeping with him). I told Thomas that Bear was spending the night with Weather Bear, but it didn't seem to help. Weather Bear is this "bear" made out of wool fleece that they dress up in different clothes dependent on the weather, and is one of Thomas's favorite activities at preschool. I get an update on what he's wearing every preschool day on the way home. Well, to make a long story even longer, I was trying to get Beth back to sleep when I heard Thomas falling apart, called in the troops (Daddy) to hold Beth while I calmed Thomas down. It took nearly a half hour to get him to understand that we couldn't go get Bear, we would have to get him tomorrow (today), and get him to lay back down and stop bursting into tears every time he remembered Bear wasn't there (every other second or so). *Then* I got to go feed Beth and put her back in bed - it was a long bedtime!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
A new day
Wow, I just reread that last post and I sounded pretty depressed, didn't I? Today is much better, Thomas is in the other room watching Backyardigans while Beth takes a nap. We're visiting the pumpkin patch with preschool today, Thomas has been talking about it all week - I hope it lives up to his expectations! It's also Thomas's snack day, we're taking in some goldfish-type crackers and apple juice. I might throw in some animal crackers, too, now that I think about it - not sure there are really enough cheese crackers to satisfy the masses!
I'm just kind of having a lazy day so far, I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning off the refrigerator, tops of the cabinets, and the kitchen cart - it looks a lot better in there, but it'm making it harder to motivate myself to get more done today, it looks great already! Except for the dishes, new paperwork, laundry, the bathrooms need cleaned ... neverending!
I'm just kind of having a lazy day so far, I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning off the refrigerator, tops of the cabinets, and the kitchen cart - it looks a lot better in there, but it'm making it harder to motivate myself to get more done today, it looks great already! Except for the dishes, new paperwork, laundry, the bathrooms need cleaned ... neverending!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I love my kids, really I do!
Some days I wonder if I'm cut out for this mommy stuff. I love my kids, the thought of leaving them in someone else's care while I go off to work is stifling to me, but some days I want nothing more than to leave them in someone else's care while I join the "real world". I'm not sure how to overcome the disconnect, but it's there. Why is it that the people we love the most are the ones that drive us the most crazy? Which piece of my heart is so connected to my mind that when I lost that bit of heart to each child, I lost a bit of my mind too?
I'm told that 3-year-olds turn into 4-year-olds, then 5-year-olds, then teenagers, then produce grandchildren, but for now the 3-year-old is giving me way too many gray hairs for my age.
And Beth just woke up needing to eat. Sigh.
Goodnight.
I'm told that 3-year-olds turn into 4-year-olds, then 5-year-olds, then teenagers, then produce grandchildren, but for now the 3-year-old is giving me way too many gray hairs for my age.
And Beth just woke up needing to eat. Sigh.
Goodnight.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Speaking ...
On Saturday, Beth embarked on the journey that will lead to my eventual loss of sanity ... she started speaking. While I'm more than thrilled with the progress (in the last week she's started waving, clapping, walking with me holding her hands, and saying "Mum-mum-mum") I also have the experience now to realize where this is all leading ... Thomas's everlasting refrain of "Why?" will soon become Beth's! One, I can handle, if barely. Two of them ... oh dear!
It's funny how differently you watch and interact with your kids - with Thomas, I watched him all the time, noting everything that changed as he grew older. Still I do the same thing - I guess because he's always entering uncharted territory for me. With Beth, we've already been there, done that, so while it's exciting, it doesn't send me straight for the phone to brag about her newest accomplishment each time she does something new. That and I know that the sitting and "walking" lead to baby gates and childproofing like mad, the talking leads to INCESSANT questions, and the clapping and waving are already being used to get attention, even when there's other things that need to be done.
Am I the only one who sometimes dreads the next developmental step? What are you NOT looking forward to your kid doing for the first time?
It's funny how differently you watch and interact with your kids - with Thomas, I watched him all the time, noting everything that changed as he grew older. Still I do the same thing - I guess because he's always entering uncharted territory for me. With Beth, we've already been there, done that, so while it's exciting, it doesn't send me straight for the phone to brag about her newest accomplishment each time she does something new. That and I know that the sitting and "walking" lead to baby gates and childproofing like mad, the talking leads to INCESSANT questions, and the clapping and waving are already being used to get attention, even when there's other things that need to be done.
Am I the only one who sometimes dreads the next developmental step? What are you NOT looking forward to your kid doing for the first time?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Hello World!
A fellow blogger asked if I have a blog and I realized I haven't posted lately, so figured if I'm going to give out my URL I'd better have something recent up! I could make all sorts of excuses, but I'll just skip them, you've heard them all before.
Thomas loves preschool, he's really looking forward to his first "Storytime" tomorrow - it's the enrichment program for the 3-year-olds at his school. He absolutely loves his teachers, loves playing, loves "Weather Bear", and is learning the days of the week based on which days he gets to go to school. I love it too; Beth and I usually get the grocery shopping done one day, we go home and work on the house the other - it's so much easier shopping with one kid rather than 2!
Everyone's been sick around here, Thomas just started feeling quite a bit better today so I'm looking for Beth to feel a lot better tomorrow (T brought it home from preschool, B got it the day after him, me the day after that, and Clay and Rob the day after that). Beth is growing and becoming much more mobile, she loves to roll all over the room especially when the obstacles are out of the way.
My brother Rob is living with us as he looks for a job and gets ready to start at OSU during winter quarter ... he's transferring there after leaving Miami University, so here's hoping OSU will be a better fit for him. I'm really glad he's decided to move on, it felt like he was just sort of stagnating at Miami. We love having him here, the kids love him and it's a lot of fun having someone else to play games with! He's a million times better about doing the dishes than I am, so while I might have thought it would take a bit *more* work to take care of the house with him here, it's actually made it easier! Yea!
I'm doing a lot better now that I'm on meds, I was diagnosed with PPD and - lo-and-behold - the world is a happy place again! We're also part of a playgroup where we've been making a lot of friends and enjoying new activities, doing lots of things we wouldn't do when it's just the kids and me. Today we went over to Homestead Park in Hilliard, it was absolutely terrific! The park is huge, we did a stroller walk then let the kids play in the different play areas while the mommies got to visit and be real people.
Ok, I should have gone to bed a long time ago, but wanted to get something up to let everyone (all 6 of you! jk) know that we're still alive!
Thomas loves preschool, he's really looking forward to his first "Storytime" tomorrow - it's the enrichment program for the 3-year-olds at his school. He absolutely loves his teachers, loves playing, loves "Weather Bear", and is learning the days of the week based on which days he gets to go to school. I love it too; Beth and I usually get the grocery shopping done one day, we go home and work on the house the other - it's so much easier shopping with one kid rather than 2!
Everyone's been sick around here, Thomas just started feeling quite a bit better today so I'm looking for Beth to feel a lot better tomorrow (T brought it home from preschool, B got it the day after him, me the day after that, and Clay and Rob the day after that). Beth is growing and becoming much more mobile, she loves to roll all over the room especially when the obstacles are out of the way.
My brother Rob is living with us as he looks for a job and gets ready to start at OSU during winter quarter ... he's transferring there after leaving Miami University, so here's hoping OSU will be a better fit for him. I'm really glad he's decided to move on, it felt like he was just sort of stagnating at Miami. We love having him here, the kids love him and it's a lot of fun having someone else to play games with! He's a million times better about doing the dishes than I am, so while I might have thought it would take a bit *more* work to take care of the house with him here, it's actually made it easier! Yea!
I'm doing a lot better now that I'm on meds, I was diagnosed with PPD and - lo-and-behold - the world is a happy place again! We're also part of a playgroup where we've been making a lot of friends and enjoying new activities, doing lots of things we wouldn't do when it's just the kids and me. Today we went over to Homestead Park in Hilliard, it was absolutely terrific! The park is huge, we did a stroller walk then let the kids play in the different play areas while the mommies got to visit and be real people.
Ok, I should have gone to bed a long time ago, but wanted to get something up to let everyone (all 6 of you! jk) know that we're still alive!
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